Protecting Sammy
by Leya
Summary: Missing scene from "When the Levee Breaks". Dean realizes that Sam chooses Ruby over him despite what they mean to each other.


Title: Protecting Sammy  
>Autor: Leya<br>Fandom: Supernatural  
>Pairing: SamDean, Ruby  
>Disclaimer: All the characters are the sole property of Kripke &amp; Co. I'm only playing with them.<br>Word Count: 673  
>Rating: PG-13<p>

Missing scene from "When the Levee Breaks". Dean realizes that Sam chooses Ruby over him despite what they mean to each other. Written for ktrisha as requested at the _Prompt an episode – Get a story in return_ meme.

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><p>Ever since this fateful moment his father ordered him to either protect Sammy or to kill him Dean had known it would come to this.<p>

It was as if every single event of the previous months had been aiming at this particular moment, inevitably leading to the decision if the brother he had loved and cared for his whole life would finally turn his back on him.

Standing here in just another motel room brought back memories of all those years spend with a brother he loved more than life itself and for a long moment Dean deceived himself by thinking that this would be enough – that their shared memories would be all Sammy needed to realise how wrong he had been.

But one look in Sammy's eyes made it clear that memories just wouldn't be enough.

Dean had never been good with words. He just wasn't able to voice his emotions openly – but that never mattered before.

They had been so close that there once had been a time when they understood each other without words, when one look was all it needed to hold a complete conversation and Dean wanted this back, wanted back this nearness and their mutual understanding.

To cut a long story short – he wanted back his family.

People always said that the way to hell was paved with good intentions and Dean understood the meaning of this words maybe better than anyone else ever could.

His whole life the elder Winchester believed in family. It was all that mattered to him, had been the one thing he believed in even more than anything else and so he had given everything, his blood, his dreams, his life even in the firm believe that whatever happened his family would be there for him. But now everything was falling apart and Dean had to admit that the very foundation of his life had been a lie.

And Sammy didn't even realise what he was doing, was too far gone to realise that he was lying to himself about his motives, his intentions.

Revenge was the excuse for everything he did – for their mother, Dean's trip to hell, their fucked up life and, most important, for giving in to this weakness he carried deep within.

It wasn't as if Dean didn't understand Sammy's need to turn the darkness inside him into something useful, to redeem himself by using it for a seemingly good cause but why couldn't Sammy see that the path he was walking was wrong?

Of course Dean understood – the burden the yellow-eyed-demon passed on to Sammy was too terrible to be carried alone. The thought alone made Dean's stomach churn and so he had done his best to keep Sammy normal, to keep him from turning into a monster but then Dean went to hell just for Sam, leaving him alone and guilt-ridden with no-one to keep him grounded – and that was all Ruby needed to mercilessly use his weakness for her cause.

Like so many before him Sammy fell prey to the illusion that the end justified the means but two wrongs never made a right and the sooner or later he was bound to end up broken and empty. It was something Dean wanted to spare his little brother.

_"Ruby, go."_

Ruby fled from the room but Dean's attention never wavered. They still were staring at each other, and the pleading look in Dean's eyes alone should have told Sammy exactly what Dean felt at he moment, should have made it obvious that he actually was _begging_for Sam to just be his brother again.

He should have known that this was a fight he never could win.

Berating himself for being a stupid fool Dean closed his eyes, finally admitting defeat, Sammy's pleading voice nothing but a faint echo of the trust they once had felt for each other.

_"Trust me."_

Dean nearly felt his heart breaking but there was only one answer for him to give.

"No."

END


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